Black Women: The Best Valentine America Could Ask For
America wants us to celebrate some man-crafted foolishness, built on cards, Duane Reade chocolates, and faux functional relationships. Don’t believe the hype. If you have to wear something pink and red today, at least be true to the Valentine who’s been true to you.
Black women have been spreading truth, education, self-love, and all the other shit you thought white women started first. On this national holiday of love that intentionally falls smack in the middle of the most relevant month of the year, let us count the reasons why Black women get the rose today.
Sisters, sit down and take off your shoes. Let me wash your feet.
We’re Fucking Up White Feminism
Thanks to Kimberle Crenshaw, intersectionality has grown from a concept to a lifestyle. Anything less than unadulterated inclusion is out of fashion.
White women with exclusionary goals and white-centered ideologies came pretty close to hijacking the modern feminist movement. Many are just now catching up to our teachings on intersectionality, empathy, and intent vs impact. In replacement of white women who only care about white women problems, groups and organizations like Together We Will USA, and the Women’s March are shifting their focus to creating welcoming, safe, inclusionary environments for all cisender and trans women. Mind you, many sisters are weary of intersectionality, however, in the name of progress, entertain it.
Years from now, women of all races and ethnicities will be looking back at this time saying, “Wow, thank God Black women spoke up!” Yes. Thank God. And, thank Black women.
We Rock It, They Want It
We could have ripped the tracks out of any given Kardashian for rocking corn rows made, slayed, and portrayed by Black women. Instead, we dug deeper and started rocking Fulani braids. We compromise what we’re willing to loan out at our leisure. Just like bamboo earrings, coconut water, name-plated necklaces (you’re a fool if you thought Carrie from Sex and the City started that), ‘Hey girl, hey’, hot sauce in your bag, the ‘buzz cut’, twerking, Oprah, and Empire. It leaves us grateful for our Black Girl Magic, and, it leaves them thirsty on the curb, wondering, “What are they going to do next?”
We Brought Natural Beauty Back
Ever since our feet first touched this soil America has tried to convince us that our beauty is an ‘acquired’ taste and secondary to all Other Women. It’s only recently that we’ve shut down the anti-Black rhetoric and reclaimed our natural beauty. Our hair is not a movement, and our hair is not a protest. Our hair is perfection.
More and more Black women are trading in their tracks for twists and their lipstick for Shea butter. After centuries of being told we are less desirable than all the other girls, sisters are clapping back — sans acrylic nails, to let this country know that beauty and brown go together like Barack and Michelle. In our beauty we have found appreciation, authenticity, and pure, unapologetic freedom. And, we wear it oh so well. Viola. Erika. Solange. Get into it.
Everybody Wants to Sit with Us
America is scrambling to give Black women the mic for one single reason: we know what to do with it. It’s the reason why everyone fans out when Maxine Waters speaks, people are campaigning for Kamala Harris (even though she’s made no formal announcement), and why Oprah is favored over the current president, former host of The Apprentice.
White feminists may be trying with all their little might to snatch our seat at the table, but, in the distance you can hear the country chanting, “Listen to Black women… Believe Black women… Let Black women lead!”
Black Girl Magic
That heavenly fragrance that smells of jojoba butter, brown sugar, and progress… that’s us! As our country’s image, laws, and good standing with the remainder of the galaxy plummets, our stock continues to soar. Other Women are mad at us and don’t know why! But we know. It’s that special thing. The strength we didn’t ask for, the beauty God gave us, paired with a sense of unity that no other species on this earth would recognize.The same Black Girl Magic we relied on for survival is now pushing us closer towards the lead. Its glow lightens a path for many white women , who in return become extensions of our message.
Black Girl Magic is that spoonful of sugar that’s going to cure the bad case of American apathy our country is sick in bed with.
Ala-fuckin-bama
Black American women pulled the kind of stunt that non-Black women can only dream of: we manifested our unity into tangible change. Not the kind of change that comes when a bunch of women decide to wear the same color hat on the same day, either. The kind of changes that brings hope for the future. The kind of change that makes. America. Great. Again. While this great accomplishment happened in the eleventh hour of 2017, Black women have the privilege of strolling through election lines, Sherman Helmsley style, giving everybody else the, “We’re not the ones who fuck it up, we’re the ones who fix it,” look. As America debates on whether or not we’ll be able to save the country in 2020, Black women are standing in formation, ready for take two.
Black women don’t fight the power. We ARE the power. We are the love this country dreams of, the arrow America prays Cupid strikes with its bow. America’s not going to give us the rose today, and not tomorrow either. Eventually he’ll come around. Until then, we’re going to have to love ourselves up and down. Happy Valentine’s Day, from me to us.
Tamela J. Gordon is a writer, intersectional feminist, and creator of the women’s empowerment group, Sisters with Aspiration, as well as SWA’s Intersectional Book Club. You can gift books for readers or send Tamela a monetary gift here: To contact Tamela for speaking engagements or creating your own women’s empowerment group, email shewritestolive@gmail.com
